I don't consider myself a writer anymore.

[butterflycrescent92]

I do not have the time to write as much as I used to. It doesn't help the fact that I'm a huge procrastinator. The only writing I do (if even that) is writing on a digital journal. That's it. At times, I write my ideas down on Google Docs but never writing the actual story. At best, I write my ideas down and write down the outlines, but I can never get past the first draft. I'm not sure why. I write in my Wordpress blog from time to time but it's been years since I published an original piece. Also, I always compare myself to other writers, and this does not help me. I'm not actively writing a poem or a short story. 

[saintofm]

I think most of us procrastinate or go "Oh Shiny" and if you are on the Autistic Spectrum and or have ADHD like I do, heaven help you.

Maybe you just need a break, and hopefully the train gets back on track, but until then there is nothing wrong with it getting derailed with no survivors every now and then.

[ScintillaMyntan]

First, you might deserve some credit for journaling — or, probably not 'deserve credit,' since I feel like it puts too much pressure on me to think of the stuff I do in terms of achievements— You might find your interest and ability in writing is still in your journaling. I keep a journal, or two actually if you count my dream journal, and sometimes I encounter stuff on the internet where people need to motivate themselves to write in their journal. Or they seem to need structured methods and prompts.

To think all those people might be impressed how fluidly I can ramble in my journal is odd, even uncomfortable, like I'm being looked up to for something that's so easy for me. But that's how it is; during my phase a few years ago when I used to think I was pretty much a non-writer, there was still that one writing-ish thing I was enjoying and that a number of people out there might well consider more writerly than they could do. I feel that even journaling is decent writing practice for me, even if it doesn't need quite the same skills as fiction and poetry. So yeah, don't discount journaling.

That aside, like I said, I also had a time I questioned if I wanted to write anymore. I stopped finding it fun to write fiction. I wasn't trying to make something I liked; I was trying to avoid mistakes and negative criticism. I wasn't trying to write well; I was trying to not write badly. I think it's because I was very much not confident about my writing or about life. I worried that my ideas and the character's decisions and such would be derided as naive because I actually was naive. I avoided heavy topics or life experiences I hadn't come close to having, and it led to sticking to very safe, low-stakes stories.

But I guess the big thing was that fear of criticism predominated in my head over my visions for any of my story ideas. There just wasn't any story I cared that much about making.

I think I got over it gradually with pushing myself to do LegendFire contests, writing for themed publications because they made me feel like my writing is wanted by others, and reading. Writing is a habit; when I do it more, I feel like doing it more, and I'm more confident about it. And I now have more I feel like writing about, for whatever reason.

[Alatariel]

Aug 8, 2023 18:48:24 GMT -6 butterflycrescent92 said:

I do not have the time to write as much as I used to. It doesn't help the fact that I'm a huge procrastinator. The only writing I do (if even that) is writing on a digital journal. That's it. At times, I write my ideas down on Google Docs but never writing the actual story. At best, I write my ideas down and write down the outlines, but I can never get past the first draft. I'm not sure why. I write in my Wordpress blog from time to time but it's been years since I published an original piece. Also, I always compare myself to other writers, and this does not help me. I'm not actively writing a poem or a short story. 

Oh friend, I hear this and know how you feel.

What are the requirements for being a writer? Who makes these requirements and rules and definitions? I think each of us can have our own personal definition. Something I've learned over the years is that progress comes in MANY forms and that making constant product is our society telling us we "need to be productive" all the time in order to have value.

This is not true.

You don't need to be producing or churning out stories on some timeline in order to still be a writer. You have ideas in your head swirling around? You put them into words even if they aren't what you consider to be good enough- they're still written down in some form or another (outline or a few paragraphs, doesn't matter). You're a writer.

Publishing or having other people read your stories doesn't make you a writer. Long breaks from producing work doesn't mean you aren't a writer anymore. If that was the case, Patrick Rothfuss and George R.R. Martin and Harper Lee wouldn't be called writers.

You're in charge of how you define yourself. Not society.

<3 sending hugs

[butterflycrescent92]

Aug 8, 2023 22:40:13 GMT -6 ScintillaMyntan said:

That aside, like I said, I also had a time I questioned if I wanted to write anymore. I stopped finding it fun to write fiction. I wasn't trying to make something I liked; I was trying to avoid mistakes and negative criticism. I wasn't trying to write well; I was trying to not write badly. I think it's because I was very much not confident about my writing or about life. I worried that my ideas and the character's decisions and such would be derided as naive because I actually was naive. I avoided heavy topics or life experiences I hadn't come close to having, and it led to sticking to very safe, low-stakes stories.

But I guess the big thing was that fear of criticism predominated in my head over my visions for any of my story ideas. There just wasn't any story I cared that much about making.

This is exactly what is happening to me right now. I am so scared of criticism, writing isn't fun for me anymore. This is especially true when it comes to writing fiction. I feel like I have to do more research and make sure my grammar is perfect. Whenever someone said that "English is not their first language" which IS true, it hurts my feelings. This is why I have not written fiction in ages. If I am to get back to writing, I will not post my first draft at all.

I think I got over it gradually with pushing myself to do LegendFire contests, writing for themed publications because they made me feel like my writing is wanted by others, and reading. Writing is a habit; when I do it more, I feel like doing it more, and I'm more confident about it. And I now have more I feel like writing about, for whatever reason.

LegendFire used to help me motivate write. I don't have the time to do it now because nursing school takes up so much of my time.