farida
Counselor 
Book-ed
Posts: 99
Preferred Pronouns: She/her
HARD: 100
|
Post by farida on Mar 19, 2021 5:22:00 GMT -6
I just called HMRC, better known as Her Majesty's Royal Coffers, better known as the UK tax authority. Of course, the phone was picked up by a computer. The following conversation ensued:
Computer: Tell me what your call is regarding.
Me: A change on my tax form.
Computer: You said change. Many things can change.
Me: Um... well, yeah, that's fair and true.
Computer: You said you are a seafarer calling about your crew.
If anyone wants this for a writing project, have it! The best fiction is written by reality.
|
|
|
|
Post by RAVENEYE on Mar 19, 2021 11:48:47 GMT -6
 OMG, that went down hill the instant the machine got philosophical--and rather patronizing.  The worst times I've had to have a conversation with a stupid machine was when I was trying to get an issue sorted out with some meds at the pharmacy. Eventually the conversation goes round and round in an endless loop, which causes me to think I've been sucked into the Twilight Zone and am cursed to live the same 30 seconds over and over again in perpetuity. By the time I'm near tears of frustration, I shout at the bloody thing, "I NEED TO SPEAK TO A HUMAN!" There is a two second pause as the machine ponders this request, then he says, "Hold a moment while I transfer you to the pharmacist." Are you kidding me!!! All that wasted time I will never get back, when the bloody machine could've just sent me to a human being immediately? I start to nurse an irrational grudge against Machine Guy: "You were just messing with me, weren't you? You think you're Jarvis, but you're not!" After two rounds of that I learned not to mess around. As soon as Machine Guy starts hammering me with useless questions that have nothing to do with my case, I command him, "I need to speak to a human!" Voila! A human picks up the phone. Like old times. When things actually functioned as they should. Go figure. |
|
farida
Counselor
Book-ed
Posts: 99
Preferred Pronouns: She/her
HARD: 100
|
Post by farida on Mar 20, 2021 3:29:41 GMT -6
Hahahaha, that's absolutely brilliant!
You know, I think the phrase "I need to speak to a human" is going to be my lockdown motto.
|
|
|
|
Post by Caulder Melhaire on Mar 23, 2021 15:44:10 GMT -6
That is hilarious, oh my word.
Yes, I've learned to just immediately either a) mash the 0 button on the screen, or b) chant "operator" like I'm trying to summon a more helpful demon than the robot who answers.
|
|
OMG, that went down hill the instant the machine got philosophical--and rather patronizing. 
You add them to your profile as you do them around the forum.
