Evil Genie

[Caulder Melhaire]

You know the deal   Grant the wish of the person before you, but make it spicy

I wish I was done with my homework for the week.

[RAVENEYE]

Granted! But Evil Genie doesn't understand programming so your answers are all wrong and you flunk the course. (I think I did that right. Can't rightly recall. If I screwed it up, let me know.)

I wish I could travel round the world in my own airship.

[Caulder Melhaire]

(LOL no that was perfect)

Granted! However the engine is so loud and clunky that you can never get a moment's sleep or enjoy the quiet of the skies while flying.

I wish I had a pet ferret.

[RAVENEYE]

Granted! However, the wild little rodent chews your toes off while you sleep. (Jeez, that genie is so evil.)

I wish my books sold ten million copies.

[pelwrath]

Granted but they were all purchased by a Nigerian Prince and the CIA is investigating it.

I wish I had photographic memory.

[Deleted]

Granted! But you saw something you wish you hadn't, and now you can't remember it.

I wish my house was painted already.

[FoxxGlove]

Granted! But the colour turned out to be hideous.
I wish the dance hall I used to go to as a teenager hadn't been demolished.

[pelwrath]

Granted but the abandoned building is haunted by those killed in the kitchen fire.

I wish that we had a moon colony.

[Bird]

Granted! But the moon colony is populated entirely by ghosts.

I wish I was healthy.

[longhand.hearted]

Granted! But your body never degenerates into old age and you end up constantly being the focus of annoying studies.

I wish there was no corruption in politics.

[Brilyana]

Be careful what you wish for...because granted. Now, there is no corruption in politics. The politicians now turn their focus to the population and begin a mass cleansing, enforcing integrity, honesty, and compassion. Before long, they realize they need to SUPER enforce it and set up Integrity Scouts who report back those who have the slightest taint of corruption...and make them disappear.

That annoying classmate of yours disappeared last week. Your neighbor's house is suddenly up for sale, fully furnished.

You just got a warning letter for telling another neighbor you liked their big tree that hangs over your yard.

You asked for it.

I wish my husband and son would wash the dishes properly.

[bilance]

Wish granted. On top of that they began to handle all the household chores and cooking and soon they completely act as if you cease to exist.

I wish I'm the main character in a fantasy online world with borderline gary stu plot armor.

[Bird]

Granted! Except you can never remove the armor, no matter how grimy it gets, and if you take a shower, it starts to rust, but it's bonded to your skin and removing it will skin you alive.

I wish I had a kitten.

[DBOgden]

(holy crap, Bird! This genie really is evil!)

Granted but the kitten refuses to be litter trained, ever.

I wish I had a good, well-paying job

[Brilyana]

Granted. You're now making more than enough to buy a new house...every year. But you find out that you're on call 24/7/365 (366 on leap years), and your boss takes advantage of that. It also seems like the boss never sleeps, so you're never home (so much for that pretty house you bought). Then you notice your boss isn't from around here...not even this galaxy, evidently. Good luck!

I wish we saved more money.