Practicing Chiasmus

[Octagon]

I'm trying to practice using chiasmus as found in many literary works written in past time. I'd like to ask if I did it correctly.

Sorry about the religious theme in the wrong board. It's just an exercise, but I guess I honored God in it.

The day of the wrath of God draweth nigh, on a world not believing in Christ, preceding the rapture, so preceeding the rapture, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, lest the day of the wrath of God be showered upon you.

[ScintillaMyntan]

Looks like a chiasmus to me.

The second time around, I would change one of the "preceding the rapture"s to something different but of course recognizably similar, so it's not immediately so repetitive.

Grammatically, you also don't need the first two commas.

By the way, you said you have writer's block. I had a period when my output was little and labored, and I think trying too hard to adhere to a particular writing style was part of what hindered me. Like you, I love archaic-sounding prose, and I wanted to sound like a 19th-century author (though that didn't extend to my internet posts). But I couldn't write freely because my need to say things in just the right style got in the way of saying enough.

If you're like me, I would recommend putting the fancy style aside and just writing what you want to convey in the way that comes naturally to you. When that's done, and it's a piece that you'd like to dress up with some lovely old-fashioned prose — and not every piece is suited to that — I would prime myself by reading some material in the style I would like to emulate and go back and edit the writing accordingly.

[Octagon]

Thank you so much for that advice. I'll try my best to follow it.